Game of the Week: Steelers vs. Giants

A wise man once said, “He who counts out the sleeping giant too early may regret his decision after the giant tears his scrotum apart.” Okay, the wise man was me, but I think the statement still applies here. After a slow start to the season in which they found excruciating ways to lose to Oakland and Tennessee, the Pittsburgh Steelers are now back above .500 and looking more like their old, annoying, Super Bowl-winning selves. Yippee. This Game of the Week profiles their trek into New Jersey to face the Giants.

Who: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. New York Giants

Where: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ

When: 3:25 P.M., Sunday, November 4th

Network: CBS (Jim Nantz, Phil Simms)

Key Storylines:

1. Oh, the Steelers are good again? HOW HEARTWARMING. I’m not going to try to hide behind any death rays of journalistic objectivity here: I hate the Steelers and I was thrilled during the first month of the season when it looked like Pittsburgh was headed for a .500 season and utter irrelevance in the AFC playoff picture. AND NOW LOOK WHAT’S HAPPENED. The Steeler D shut down Cincinnati and Washington – two pretty high-powered offenses – in back-to-back games and didn’t even have Troy Polamalu in either of them. They won’t have him available against the Giants, either, but sadly it seems like Dick LeBeau’s figured out how to get his defense to kick tail without him. It’s a good thing he has, too, because the Giants come in with the #1 offense in the league, according to SSLYAR’s Predictive Yards per Play metric.
2. Going out on a limb here, guys, but TURNOVERS WILL BE A MAJOR FACTOR IN THIS GAME’S OUTCOME. This is true of every game, of course, but it’ll be particularly interesting to watch what happens when Pittsburgh’s offense goes up against New York’s defense. These are two units that have had an inordinate amount of their effectiveness spring forth from turnovers (or lack thereof). The Steelers have only turned the ball over six times thus far (tied with the Texans for fewest in the league) and Roethlisberger’s interception rate is currently at an unsustainable 1.1%. On the other side, the Giants have been getting torched to the tune of 6.2 yards per play (tied for third worst in the league) but have survived because of the league-high 24 turnovers that they’ve forced and their unsustainable interception rate of 5.7%. SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE.
3. Can we just take a moment to note how bad Kevin Gilbride’s mustache looked last week?It’s one thing to shave the whole thing off accidentally; it’s quite another to half-assedly regrow it and let it linger like a stale fart on your face. What happened, Kevin? You used to be a man of class and style, a mentor for young mustache aficionados to look up to and learn from. Please, please consider regrowing your nose neighbor in a correct fashion. The number of men who actually pull off a mustache effectively is down in the teens; you are a member of a very select group! FOR TOM SELLECK’S SAKE, DON’T LET EVERYONE DOWN, KEVIN.

Steve Stone’s Said in Stone Cold Lock of the Game: “Say a pitcher faces some particular hitter with two out and nobody on, and he pitches low and in and gets him out.”

Projected Final Score: Giants 28, Steelers 21

Team To Bet On If Gambling Were Legal: Giants (-3.5)