And it happened in the first game of the year. The Chiefs beat the Browns 40-39 thanks to an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on the final play of the game that gave them an untimed down. Also of note: LOOK AT THOSE HOLES THE CHIEFS OFFENSIVE LINE CREATED. Priest Holmes was great, too, but holy crap was that o-line amazing.
Worth viewing for two reasons:
A): Antonio Cromartie doing something notable other than forgetting the names of all his kids;
B): Dan Dierdorf saying, “YOU COULD FRY AN EGG ON THE TOP OF BRAD CHILDRESS’S HEAD!” Sure, I guess you could do that if you really wanted to, Dan. But would the resulting taste of the egg be satisfactory? If you’re talking about subpar ways to fry an egg, I’M NOT SO SURE that using the top of Brad Childress’s head isn’t one of the right answers to that question.
It should go without saying that Joe Buck, and not Robert Christgau, is the current dean of American music critics – why, over the course of five seconds in the video below, he professes knowledge of cool, hip indie bands like M83 and Passion Pit and Phoenix! Of course, sometimes when you’re the most intellectual tastemaker in the country, you’ve got to step on other people’s toes for not being as hip to the jive as you are. Such is the case with Troy Aikman for having just found out who Mumford & Sons were. DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT “LITTLE LION MAN” STARTED MAKING WAVES BACK IN THE YEAR 2009, TROY? Next, you’ll be telling me you don’t know who Arcade Fire is.
Whenever your team’s quarterback lets go an epic diarrhea in the punch bowl performance this season, take solace in this, Jaguars fans: at least they did better than Garo Yepremian.
The pending Peyton Mannning Reunion Special game in Indy this upcoming season got me thinking about other great quarterbacks taking on their former teams in high-profile games. One of the most quintessential examples of this was Joe Montana leading the Chiefs against Steve Young and the 49ers in 1994. The entire game can be found (for now!) on YouTube – besides seeing two of the ten best (five best?) quarterbacks ever square off, how great is it to hear Summerall and Madden in their prime again? I’m telling you, this YouTube thing could be big someday.
Please indulge the Bears fan in me for just a moment and recall how amazing Hester was in 2006 and (especially) 2007. My favorite part of this whole video is Dan Dierdorf repeatedly shaking his head and saying, “I don’t get it…I DON’T GET IT…” during Hester’s second return touchdown against the Broncos. Obviously, Todd Sauerbrun shouldn’t have been buying any green bananas in the week leading up to that game.
Hunter Smith had one of the easiest jobs in America for about a decade as the punter for the Colts while Peyton Manning was their quarterback. Stand on the sidelines while Peyton leads the team on another scoring drive? ALRIGHT, SOUNDS GOOD. Here, Smith actually made a pretty memorable play by tracking down Deion Sanders on a punt return during a 1999 game and keeping him from scoring. That Herculean effort wouldn’t have been necessary if his punt had gotten more than 1.7 seconds of hang time. But what the hell, he probably needed to stretch his legs anyway to avoid deep vein thrombosis.
If you’re anything like me, the thought of seeing an NFL game with a free-kick field goal (which a team can attempt the play after they fair catch a punt) drives you wild with desire and causes your heart to race and your loins to burn with passion. So in this Cardinals-Giants game from 2008, Neil Rackers had a chance to wedge his way into our hearts forever by making an uncontested 68-yard field goal at the end of the first half. And what happens? The ball makes it to the freaking 17-yard line. WHAT THE HELL, NEIL??? Sebastian Janikowski would cut off both his arms for that opportunity.
Well, since the NFL had to dash any bit of happiness in our lives and delay the official schedule unveiling for another day…there’s really not anything going on in the world of the NFL today. So here’s a video of something that DID happen: namely, Keith Traylor leading the slowest interception return in NFL history.