Random Mid-Week Headlines

I’m hurting for post ideas today, so I’m going to take the easy way out and post links to news stories from the past couple days and provide my own “insight” on each item as a way to justify the complete link dump. As someone whose main experience playing football has come via two-hand touch games in a church gym, obviously I am over-qualified to dole out my expertise. TO THE LINKS.

  • The Seahawks are shopping Matt Flynn pretty heavily, according to CBS Sports’ Jason La Canfora and the Jaguars, Bills, and Raiders are all currently in the mix to secure Mr. Flynn’s services. If Flynn is an above-average NFL starting quarterback (and I think he is), then this is one of the most important subplots of the offseason. The AFC is in the midst of a terrible downturn – only the four division winners (New England, Baltimore, Houston and Denver) rated as above-average teams in the year-end Predictive Yards per Play rankings, largely because those four teams (plus Buffalo) were the only ones in the conference to finish above-average on offense. With a few important exceptions, ALL THE GOOD QUARTERBACKS right now belong to the NFC. That’s why finding even an okay starter at quarterback (which Flynn can absolutely be) could turn a downtrodden AFC laughingstock into a 2013 playoff team. Yes, even the Jaguars. Personally, I was hoping that the Chiefs would have held out a little longer in their quarterback search to wait to get into the Flynn Sweepstakes because his accuracy and anticipation seems like they would be perfect fits for Andy Reid’s offense. And even should the Jaguars, Bills or Raiders land Flynn, all three teams have glaring issues defensively that could offset any potential improvement in the passing game. Still, keep an open eye out for wherever Flynn winds up.
  • Dez Bryant thinks that a 2,000 yard and 20 touchdown year receiving “can potentially happen” for him this year and that he’s just “scratching the surface” of his potential. The second part of his statement is undoubtedly true and I’d give him more of a shot to prove the first part true as well if it weren’t for two things – 1): The NFL schedule isn’t 18 games yet and 2): he suffered a back injury at the end of last season that’s kept him from running any routes this offseason and might keep him from participating in OTA’s. Also, there’s the fact that 85% of Tony Romo’s passes are six-yard stop routes to Jason Witten. WHERE WILL DEZ’S NECESSARY PASS TARGETS COME FROM? Also also, Dez is a knucklehead who might get suspended for injecting himself with purple drank or something. So there’s that, too.
  • The Chargers decided that taking a $6 million cap hit was preferable to watching Jared Gaither bumble around at left tackle again next year, so they cut him and proceeded to burn six million one dollar bills in a symbolic gesture at the team’s practice facility. Let’s face it: when Norv Turner is throwing you under the bus, there’s probably not a whole lot of other avenues of employment for you in football. Maybe the 6’9” Gaither can try massively underachieving at basketball?
  • And, finally, this isn’t football news, but it’s the best news I’ve heard in a very, VERY long time, so I’m sharing it with you, anyway: Tim McCarver’s retiring from broadcasting after this season. Now I’m not one to get overdramatic or deliriously happy very often, but…YES! YESSSSS!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We’re gonna be free, everyone! We’re finally going to be free from the worst announcer still gathering a paycheck! No longer will we be subject to the occasional Dick Stockton-Tim McCarver MLB on FOX broadcast, which always threatens to choke the life out of our very souls. In 2014, Joe Buck will begin overselling the terrible jokes of another unqualified former major leaguer. And I couldn’t be happier.

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